Doubting for a positive outcome is like not even trying to step one foot forward to realize it’s a great journey after all. Dreaming by aspiring to do such a thing that you wanted the most will forever remain unreachable if you don’t live to chase after them.
I almost gave up before even trying. But not knowing if I will make it or not from not doing it, bothers me a lot. So I still did try anyway.
May 2016 was the plan to start making a progress for my US visa application. I doubted if I could get it, knowing from what I’ve heard that I have to show the strongest evidence that ties me back to my hometown which I claim I never had except from having my papers to work legally in Thailand. Not having any valuable assets have discouraged me so badly. But I considered to try the risk and waste money upon spending on fees and etc. and so I conditioned myself that it will be alright if in worst case scenario I’d fail it.
And so I proceeded. I started reading a heck of information ’till everything I read added to my worries and discouraged me again to continue reading for more. But then I started collecting the documents I needed. Perhaps, that’s one of the Consulate’s greatest test for the applicants, if you have enough courage and strength to fight self-doubt and if you are confident like nobody could ever stop you and block your way walking towards pursuing your dream.
Struggle after another, I have had a hard time collecting some more evidences such like; the reference letter from my school and employment certificate. The director won’t sign them unless it’s edited to its simplest. He’ll be retiring on the same month of my intention to visit the US. So yeah, anyways, I edited the letter for like 5 times together with my employment certificate. The fact that it’s their responsibility to provide it upon my request but then they lack skills of composing English documents plus my frustration of having it was present all the time so I ended up doing it myself.
Oh, I meant to mention that I was applying with a reason of visiting my boyfriend’s family. Originally, he wouldn’t let me state that fact but encouraged me to apply independently which somehow diminished my interest and hope that I have left. He’s afraid that the consulate might suspect us of not coming back to Thailand at all and just settle there. So I had to convince him myself. Because if we are really just going to visit his family, then why do we have to deny the fact but lie that I am travelling alone, which is much more risky. Cutting it to the chase, I was able to convince him so I collected his files as well as a part of my evidences.
Also, I never have planned to get myself a printer, but for the sake of printing sensitive and confidential files, I did buy one. For God’s sake help me accomplish this big journey. I followed the steps thoroughly from reading information, collecting the documents, filling up the form online (which has to be happened later after I have completed all the documents in my hand), paying the visa at the particular bank, printing out confirmations, scheduling my interview appointment, and finally the judgment day is on. My interview day was on the same day of his birthday so I was having a very high hope that I could make it even though his birthday has got nothing to do with it. But it gave me a motivation to do my best so I can give him the best birthday present of his life.
Tip* Dressing up well and appropriately during the interview portrays your attitude and feeling towards your application. It’s showing them that you are serious and established which is one great plus according to what I’ve read.
It’s my interview day!!! I composed myself up, triple checked what to bring and made sure that I watch the clock so I won’t be late. I came on time but feels like I was the last person to arrive. Anyhow, the long wait was over. It really was quite a prolonged anxiousness of getting through the process, though I still have to wait a little bit longer in the embassy until they could call my queue number. I was called twice, first for my finger print scanning and finally for my real interview.
Here are some more tips I’ve learned from my research on how to behave during the interview.
- Eye contact
- Straight and direct answers
- Do not insist to present supporting evidences if weren’t asked
- Keep calm and smile
- Avoid unnecessary gestures
During the interview:
Me: Good morning sir!
Interviewer: Hi!, Good morning! …So is Dale Parsons your husband?
Me: No sir, He’s my boyfriend
Interviewer: How long have you been dating?
Me: Would be 3 years in October
Interviewer: When is the wedding?
Me: No plans on getting married yet, sir.
Interviewer: So what are you going to do in the US?
Me: We are going to spend our holiday there by visiting his family.
Interviewer: What do you want to see in America?
Me: The priority of the trip is to meet his family which is in West Virginia and I want to see New York.
Interviewer: What’s your boyfriend’s name?
Me: Dale Parsons, Sir.
Interviewer: So you’re a teacher?
Me: Yes sir!
Interviewer: How long have you been teaching here?
Me: 4 years
Interviewer: How many students do you have?
Me: 24
Interviewer: What does your boyfriend do?
Me: He’s also a teacher, sir.
Interviewer: *Typing* (perhaps all the answers I was giving him) …How long since he last visited home?
Me: He hasn’t been home for 9 years.
Interviewer: Oh! 10 years.
Me: Yes. (Waiting for the next question)
Interviewer: OK, your visa is good.
Me: *Shocked* *couldn’t burst my feeling yet*
Really? Thank you! (I ran out and couldn’t wait to tell Damian that I did it.)
I FRIGGIN’ MADE IT!!!! He didn’t even bother asking for any evidence that I have prepared and brought with me. All the things I’ve done were all worth it.
“The best losses dance on the edge of over confidence, but a healthy dose of self-doubt and humility saves them from turning arrogant and pig headed.” -Robert Sutton
If you grapple with self-doubt, keep reading. If you don’t grapple with it you’re dangerous.
“Believe in yourself, However unquestioned self-belief produces self-serving leaders who won’t adapt.
- Confident but not sure is better than blind belief.
- Move forward in spite of doubt, worry if you’re not worried.
Fear of making mistakes is healthy when raises intensity, motivates preparation and inspires vigilance. It’s unhealthy if it paralyzes you.
- Press into doubt with deadlines, An effective deadline is a mini crisis.
“When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.” –Raymond Chandler
Focus more on the process – what’s next – & less on final outcomes.
FIVE POSITIVE POWERS OF HEALTHY SELF-DOUBT
- Motivates preparation. Useful self-doubt doesn’t paralyze it motivates.
- Humble heart
- Opens mind
- Invites others in
- Builds confidence in others. You’re trustworthy if challenges give you pause.
Reference: Leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2012/11/07
I waited 3 days after the interview before I could pick up my my passport and to find out what kind of visa they have bestowed me. I was very excited but wasn’t expecting for a multiple entry. However, I was having this strange feeling that the interviewer’s last words after the interview “Your visa is good!” was hinting me of possibly getting the multiple entry visa. So there’s me again hoping right there.
I was at work but took a little time off in the afternoon to join my best friend Jhen in buying her thai dress. She had no idea what my real intention was. I just told her that Damian was asking me to pick up a parcel for him at the post office. We went at the wrong post office at first but the staff gave us the address where to really head to and so we were able to find it.
We arrived there. And now the I have the envelope in my hand, I went straight to the comfort room to look at it and see what I have in there. I was shaking while tearing the envelope. The first thing I saw was this green letter congratulating me for passing the application. The feeling was like, I took a serious bloody board exam. Then I opened my passport and turned it to the page where my US visa was pasted on. It was July 2016 when I received the approval in accomplishing my application. I kept scanning through the other details then I saw the capital letter “M” as the number of entries I have and June 2026 as its expiry date. I was like “10 years!!!! Holy cow! I got a multiple entry visa to US.”
My eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing and my heart couldn’t contain all the excitement and fulfillment I have at that moment. There were like fireworks lit up and in the sky feels, celebrating for the victorious moment of conquering self doubt and tapping my soul while saying “All the efforts and and stress were all worth it.” I remember how excited Jhen was and happy as well that she didn’t bother getting what she needed but just listened to the whole story of how I took the journey to self doubt.
