Yeast was perfectly activated for me to rise in the world as cute as a dough. There were incredible memories that my mom has shared me about my infancy period.
I started walking during my 9th month and uttered my first words before turning 1 year old. That my mom sprinkled me some of her excess chocolate chips ( I meant of the chicken pox). I was infected and had my first chicken pox from being so obsessed with my mom’s milk. They starved me for a day so I could just suck artificial milk from a bottle. Unfortunately, I was still so reluctant to that and didn’t care to choose my mom’s milk.
Being consistent comparing myself to a dough. Well, before it has to be baked it needs to be punched down first and kneaded as what experiences have been doing in our lives. We were constantly punched down by trials and shortcomings, got kneaded until we’re close to perfection, be ready to be baked and humbly face the world no matter what or how the outcome will be depending on how we have dealt with that each of our unique kind of life.
I am not to boast but I know that I have been a good person. I was given the right amount of discipline and freedom. I know I have been lucky that I have attended school and have had contributions in raising our family’s little business for a living and fulfilled my tasks being the eldest among my little brothers.
Since I was able to help our business at my young age, my eyes have seen how the reality has been. I wasn’t able to fulfill my developmental needs being a child normally, like playing until I get tired of it and be out of the things that the elders are the only responsible for. I did experience playing though, provided that I was able to accomplish my chores first (cleaning the pork’s intestine, dicing the onions for the sauce, chopping finely the garlic for the marinade, putting the meat on sticks, cleaning the barbecue grill, and setting up the place for selling the barbecue and all that). It was fun sometimes, but that feeling that I should have just been getting excited about playtime and didn’t need to be bothered dealing with all of those that took off a bit of my developmental task in a particular stage. The situation was a bit grouchy for me. It left me memories that served me my motivation and inspiration to keep chasing and reaching after what I wanted in my life.
I have had a strange aloof feeling towards my dad like I really don’t like him being around or inside the house and not seeing that interest of wanting to mingle with him. That feeling was one of the hints for the truth to be revealed about who he really was in my life. I always believe the there are no secrets that will never be known when the time already lets you wanna know it. I was 22 when I found out that I am the only daughter of my biological parents. The punch line actually is, I was never raised by my real dad. To let you understand it more, the dad that I have been living with all my life isn’t my real dad. To bring the nut out of the shell. I searched and met the missing word of the sentence (seeing my real dad). I was thankful that I was able to fulfill that part but I guess that’s the end of the search and will never be searching for him again. Letting things be if it really how it was supposed to be.
I was trained not to be very dependent on anyone but myself, so I joined some organizations that helped me to send myself to college. I did this SHSP (Self Help Scholarship Program) thing where I have conducted fundraising that absolutely helped not only myself but others like me who thought that it’s the only hope of bringing each of us to University. This brought me incomparable learning and experiences that I will carry and treasure in my life. It was really tough, full of adventure and scary experiences, Yet remarkable, terrific and phenomenal.
Being a tough girl doesn’t mean that I lost the meaning of having friends and family who care about me and who I care about. Moreover, living and leaning to a magical world of being in love as a normal human being, whereas we all know that it’s one of the most special things that bring inspiration and direction to the path that we chose to take.
I never lose having the ambition of wanting to work abroad. Because, the impression it has given me, as well as the hope it proved me giving a better life for my family and helping out myself to be more equipped planning for my future. When it’s meant for me to start taking the next stage or level of intensity on how would I want life to knead me.
Living, Learning and Loving how things are going currently. Crying is normal, but I make sure never to forget welcoming every new beginning with a HUGE smile: the cheapest medicine in treating hardships. Living well by portraying wisdom but still keeping my mind open.